Not a Bad Day

Wow!  I couldn't have been busier today, and with healthy food from home ready to go at work, I fared much better in the battle between me and mindless snacking in the afternoons!

I was really tired from kettlebells yesterday, and dropped 3 pounds "overnight", so I didn't walk or do a workout today.  I was on my feet all day long.  I literally only remember sitting down for five minutes or so.

Weight:  228

AM
morning supplements
coffee w/ a little carmel macciato creamer

Mid-morning
black coffee
2 hard boiled eggs with 1 teaspoon mayo and 1 teaspoon mustard

Lunch
1/2 cup school lunch:  taco salad w/ beans, lettuce, tomato, salsa, a little cheese, a few Fritos corn chips
about 10 nuts

PM Snack
grilled chicken breast
black beans
 salsa

Dinner
fried catfish (panko crumb coated)
husband's delicious avocado sauce (avocado, cilantro, onion, jalapeno, olive oil, water, a splash of half and half)
salad w/ cider vinegar vinaigrette
red beans and brown rice
5-6 oz red wine

I probably ate too much of my husband's delicious dinner!  We'll see tomorrow in the poundage, but it was good clean food made with love.

Lots of water throughout the day...

The Barn Door is Open

I must be aware of eating before a major wave of hunger or snacking hits. Today, after not having much to eat in the morning, I found myself downing fistfuls of mixed nuts at school this afternoon. A few? Perfectly fine. Handfuls, going back again and again? Not so much. I did resist delicious birthday cupcakes, though. And it least I ate nuts instead of tons of Goldfish crackers, which were part of the snack mix I had made for our students.

Lesson, eat steadily all day, don't lose touch with my body and forget to eat, then find my fists full of snacks!

AM: 20 minute fast walk with Iris, followed by 75 kettle bell swings
2 cups cold water
coffee with cinnamon
supplements

AM Snack: cheddar cheese slices (2 oz?), coffee w/ a little half and half

Lunch: small spinach salad with strawberries and balsamic vinaigrette, grilled chicken breast, green beans with shallots

PM "Snack": several handfuls of mixed nuts, a little dried fruit, and 10? Goldfish crackers

Dinner: one fried corn tortilla (tostada shell), 1/2 cup grass fed ground beef (taco meat)

Lots of water

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

I think when you're overweight, at some point you stop living in your body. You stop looking closely at it in the mirror, you don't notice that you're getting winded easier, and you ignore messages that you don't need to eat more because you are full. Like me, you can even shut out constant internal notions that you feel uncomfortable putting your overweight self out into the world or into clothes that don't flatter.

Would you believe that I have not owned a full length mirror in ten years? I didn't purposely stop having one in my home, but after a move, and heavier after my first child, I never replaced the mirror missing from my household. I avoid mirrors that show more of me than from the waist up. Look into a dressing room mirror? Forget it. I'd rather try something on and feel if it fits rather than look up at the mirror(s) in there. Usually,I will just take something home and risk having to return it. Sometimes, I'll even put a shirt or dress on over my own clothes in Target rather than hit the dressing room, reasoning that if it fits over clothes, it's a fit!

Do you know that it would be Hell to me to wake up every morning beside a closet with mirrored doors? I hate when elevators surround me with mirrors on all sides after a sweaty trip to a hotel. I hate to run upon a giant wall mirror or floor length mirror while I shop. I most especially hate to stare at myself while getting my hair cut. It is practically a death sentence when I must stare at myself in a mirror while under the glare of its wicked, wicked cousin, the fluorescent light.

I need to get real, though. I need to have a way to measure my upcoming progress. I am going to buy a floor length mirror for my walk-in closet this week, and I'm going to take pictures in my workout wear to document where I've been.

Step one might have been to stay in my "right mind", but the next step is to live in this body and literally see it as it is for the first time in a long while...

***********************************************************************************************

This morning, my girls and I rode over to the local middle school track and did some interval training for 30 minutes, running and walking. I want to be a good role model for the girls, but also I want to be accountable to them. I don't want to skip workouts or get too far gone with food without my family noticing. I hold them accountable for homework and chores, but I bet they don't know how much I need my family to help me stay on track. That I am weak. That it scares me to consider that I could put weeks of work and attention into this round of weight loss, only to fail again because of my own weakness.

I do not jest when I say thank goodness drugs and the overuse of alcohol were never tempting to me. Food is some sort of drug or past time for me, and I can't imagine staring down heroin or alcohol with my addictive nature. Food is hard enough to kick. It's hard to get a body that is happy being sedentary to move.
**********************************************************************************************

It was family dinner night at my mom's house. I left feeling proud that I had kept myself under control! I noticed my reminder bracelet several times.

Breakfast
coffee with a splash of flavored creamer
2 egg omelet with peppers, onions, ham, and Cholula hot sauce

Lunch
cubed roasted turkey dipped in barbecue sauce
sauerkraut

Dinner
bun-less grass fed beef burger w/ mayo, pickle, lettuce, tomato and ketchup
sliced tomatoes
1/4 cup cracked wheat salad (cracked wheat, cucumber, tomatoes, parsley, feta, lemon vinaigrette)
coffee w/ a little flavored creamer
small slice lime pie

Maintaining my Right Mind

Today started with a parent work day at our school.  I skipped breakfast as I felt that I needed to give my system time to clean up after last night's wine and snacking.  While folks painted our school, I fixed lunch.  I baked a loaf of homemade bread and made some delicious bolognese sauce with grass feed beef and roasted eggplant and squash.  I drank some sweetened iced tea and lemonade and enjoyed a little of the lunch I had prepared for everyone.

For dinner, I had my mind in a clear space and chose something high protein and something fermented to  tame my metabolism and finish the day strong.

Dinner
natural (fermented) sauerkraut
cherry tomatoes w/ salt and cider vinegar
two hardboiled eggs mashed with salt and pepper
a few carmelized onions left over from a sandwich I made for my husband

Our family went swimming tonight, and I did a few (half) laps and some movements that felt like they were working my abs and my arms. 

Lots of water this eve...

You know, losing weight for me is about maintaining a state I'll call my "right mind".  It's so easy to stop thinking the way a normal healthy person does and lose days or weeks of work to a pizza or cupcakes or other tempting item that presents itself.  I am often a mindless eater.  I eat too much when I like the way something looks, like the way it tastes, want to celebrate, want to comfort myself, want to reward myself, or when I want to be adventurous and try something new.  That's a lot of possible times to be "out of my mind" over food.  I firmly believe that I can and should eat whatever I want, but 90% of the time, I need to eat in the way that works best for my body, which is generally protein, fats, and veggies in appropriate proportion to one another.  I also need to accept that I lose myself in food easily, easier than most folks I suppose.

When my food is right, my body wants to move!  I can't believe I have been craving running.  I don't like to run distances, but do like short sprints with recovery time walking (interval training).  I invited my husband and the kids to join me tomorrow morning in my movement.  I think we'll try to ride our bikes over to the middle school track in my neighborhood and do a little interval training before it gets too hot here in central Texas.  I not only want to move to make my body healthy, but I also want to make sure my children have an example of health to emulate in their own lives. 

I told my kids my goal is for our family is to have the healthiest summer yet!  Now, to stay in my right mind.

My Bracelet

This time around I'm trying to use a bracelet from my sister on my right wrist as a reminder to slow down when I'm reaching for food. Last night I realized that the power of this reminder is diminished when wine is consumed. I attended a night at my friend's store, and had a great astrological chart reading. I talked and poured more and more wine, and suddenly I was noshing on crackers with cream cheese and jalapeño jam, tortilla chips with garlic onion dip, chocolates, and some cheese...it is my old pattern of mindless eating. Mindless munching just beacause something tastes good. Never once did I see my "braceleted" hand reaching for all those bites as I slurped wine.

I had a great food day before this event and even ate a healthy dinner before heading over to the store!

It's a new day...I'm going to drink lots of water and keep my eye on that bracelet.

Ahhh, That's Better...

Yesterday I doubted myself big time after serial sampling, but today I feel in control again after a great food day! Amazing how much better I feel when I put the correct mix of food in my body...

Upon rising
Coffee with coconut hazelnut creamer

AM Snack
1 ounce cheddar cheese
1 corn tortilla fried in oil(tostada shells I was preparing for school lunch)

Lunch
4 ounces grilled beef (London Broil)
Salsa
1/2 cup refried pinto beans
Salad: 2 cups iceberg lettuce + 1/2 cup cherry tomatoes, apple cider vinegar

PM Snack
1/2 cup nuts + 1/2 cup dried fruit

Dinner
4-6 ounces grilled chicken
2 cups tossed salad: iceberg, cucumber, tomatoes, Italian vinaigrette

Lots of water all day, only 1 cup of coffee

On my feet all day, no exercise...

Off Track Already?

Today was a day of not much food, but too much "sampling" instead of eating the meals I had planned.

It was bread day.  This is the most hallowed day at our school, the day we make homemade organic bread with the kids.  Since we're studying bees , I made honey butter to go on top.

Upon Rising
20 minute walk
2 cups cold water
30 g whey protein
coffee with cinnamon

Late Breakfast
a few bites of meatloaf (school lunch)
2 hardboiled eggs

Lunch
meatloaf
3-4 small slices of bread with honey butter

PM Snack
a few pita chips with hummus

Dinner (or major "sampling")
a few chocolate covered pecans
1 cup whole milk
1 1/2 gluten free zucchini muffins
several bites of gluten free chicken pot pie that I made the family last night
4 veggie straw snack sticks, which really equals nothing!

Lots of water

I packed some beautiful sliced grilled London Broil, salsa, and a green salad that I didn't eat...still waiting for me tomorrow at work. 

Tomorrow's another day.  I don't know why this is such a battle for me sometimes, but I am so glad that I didn't do this sampling on top of a bunch of heavy meals!

Not a Bad Re-Start

Thanks to our little dog, I woke up at 4:30 or so this morning!  Certainly there's no excuse for not working out when I don't have to be at work until 8/8:15.   I walked about 30 minutes around my neighborhood to some pumping new jams from iTunes.  When I got home, I did more than 75 kettlebell swings while I waited for my shower time.  I felt so energized by moving my body so early...

It was a good food day except for a couple of bites here and there (which add up, I know)...I own a preschool and have 3 children, so I'm always going to be around temptation!  Though the food I serve at school and the food I feed my family is very healthy and nearly all organic, the kids do have Goldfish crackers, chocolate covered pecans, and other treats that I sometimes end up sampling.  I need to have more self-control, and yet my justification is that complete deprival causes "going off the deep end" eating.

Upon Rising
1 cup cold water
1 cup cold water with whey protein (Gak!, but it works for me)

Morning
Coffee w/ cinnamon

Early Lunch
Chunks of grilled chicken breast w/ salsa

Lunch
1/2 cup refried pinto beans
1/2 cup grilled chicken w/ salsa

Afternoon Snack
1 hardboiled egg
2 cups coleslaw w/ balsamic vinegar
a couple of peanuts
5-10 Goldfish crackers
3 chocolate covered pecans
1 cup black coffee

Dinner
1 cup grilled chicken
2 cups coleslaw w/ homemade peanut/sesame dressing/soy sauce

Tons of water today! Nearly 3 1/2 quarts.  Need to get to a gallon...

I'm tired.  Looks like the afternoons need more protein/volume based on my "sampling".  Also looks like I had too much chicken today.  Don't want to burn out...

I am feeling strong!

The Best Way to Eat, For Me

In working with my personal trainer, Dio, and in studying both Paleo-type eating, Tim Ferriss' work in Four Hour Body, and nurtritional typing as recommended by Dr. Mercola, this food makes me feel great and lose weight:

Lots of water all day, approximately 1 gallon

Upon Waking
two cups of cold water with lemon juice (immediate hydration, lemon juice to alkalize system)
30 g of protein, usually a gross combo of vanilla whey protein and 1/2 cup cold water, as a shot

Early Morning
coffee with cinnamon, 2-3 cups

Mid-Morning
an egg or some nuts

Lunch
1/2 cup beans, black or pinto
4-6 oz protein, usually grilled steak or chicken
2 cups spinach salad with tomato, raw vinegar (Bragg's), sea salt OR 1-2 cups cooked veggies, low starch

Afternoon
nuts or some veggie sticks OR a whey shake with greens OR some berries/protein such as cubed grilled meat

Dinner...eat no later than 7 PM
6-8 oz protein
2 cups spinach salad with homemade vinaigrette, sea salt OR 2 cups cooked veggies, low starch

Add ins:
I seem to do well with an occasional apple, berries, or a couple of chunks of cheese thrown in to this mix.
I can occassionally add a corn tortilla, potatoes, or brown rice without ceasing to lose weight.
1-2 glasses of red wine doesn't seem to slow weight loss.

Saturdays...Stimulate the Metabolism (Cheat)
I eat whatever I want starting mid-day Saturday.  As long as I still work out, and drink lots of water, I gain a couple of pounds that are shed by the following Tuesday, then I go on to lose more weight Tuesday through Saturday AM of that week.  The cheats make it possible for me to be good all week.