I Fell Off the Wagon...

I made it 85 days, longer than ever before, with a razor sharp determination to achieve my weightloss goals...this time.  I journaled religiously every day of the week except for Saturdays ("cheat day").  Sunday through Friday I was all business. 

This week, something happened.  At first, I was confused when I started putting things in my mouth that hadn't been tempting in nearly three months.  Intense cravings for carbs, chocolate, carbs, chocolate.  A busy week that was out of balance, including a late night meeting at work on Tuesday.  Farm and gardening, lifting heavy things at work, but no planned movement at home.  No walks, sprints, or stationary bike. Slowly I slipped into old habits, at one point telling myself it was "okay" because I could start again on Sunday, after a full week of cheating. 

But, I worked too hard.  Pedaled too many miles. Lifted my kettlebell too many times.  I've said "no" to foods that don't bring out my best or get me to where I want to be too many times.  And so today, when I awoke, I knew that I couldn't just slip for two more days.  Those days could turn into months, or another ten or eleven years.  I was terrified. No, today, Friday, I fasted.  Most of the day I drank coffee w/ half and half and sipped miso broth.  Finally, at dinner, I needed a little protein with the miso broth to get me through the night so I had 1 1/2 grass fed beef hot dogs left over from my kids' dinner.  (Weird dinner, eh?)

Today I took back control.  Tomorrow, I will return to journaling and posting pics of what I eat.  On December 31, 2011, I said this was the last fat year of my life.  And, it is.

P.S.  With time to reflect, this is what caused my rotten week:

1.  PMS
2.  I haven't been taking a vitamin, fish oil, a probiotic, or vitamin D.
3.  I didn't have enough protein available to me at work, nor did I have vegetables prepped.
4.  I didn't make exercise and self-care a priority in my week.
5.  I didn't journal.
6.  I didn't get adequate rest...reading on the iphone or ipad too late into the night.

3/26/12

Whew! I didn't have much appetite most of today, then an intense craving for dark chocolate after dinner!

Breakfast: coffee w/ half and half, banana

Lunch: roast turkey breast, organic baby carrots


Organic spinach w/ organic sesame vinaigrette...


Dinner: homegrown roasted beets


And grass fed beef roast in homemade gravy over green beans w/ onions...


"Truffle" to appease a massive post-dinner dark chocolate craving...butter, dark cocoa powder, stevia sweetener, coconut oil...


Today's log...


No exercise today, but a busy day on my feet for hours...honored my body's message to skip the work out.


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Have a happy day!

3/23/12

It was coffee with half and half and off to work to open the school this morning...

I didn't eat breakfast until 10:00, leftover egg salad and cucumber while I moved heavy stuff and prepped for a parent workday tomorrow...


Lunch? Trying to keep carbs and dairy at bay before my weigh-in tomorrow, so I ate 2 eggs scrambled in 1 T pastured butter...I ate them out of the pan.


Dinner...homegrown salad greens, leftover brisket, avocado, salsa...


Today's log...


I was light on fruits and veggies today, and ate 5 eggs. Weird. I was busy at work though, with a nearly empty fridge. I earned 2 activity points with my kettle bell at 10pm! Proud to have worked out that late.


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Have a happy day!

3/22/12

Today we signed my "baby" up for kindergarten at our neighborhood elementary school. He is so excited!

Hey, I'm excited, too! I'm wearing a size smaller jeans and the shirt I wore today was much looser than when I wore it a week or two ago!


Banana on the run again...


Organic celery, 2 Wasa crackers, organic guacamole...


Organic egg salad, organic baby carrots...


Organic tortilla chips and more organic guacamole...


Needed chocolate!



Blackened catfish, cole slaw, sliced organic tomato ...


Still hungry...1 T butter followed by 2 clementine oranges--finally full!



It's still hard to look at myself, but I do see in this pic that my double chin is fading...maybe some thinning or new muscle through the chest?


Today's log...


Today I earned 4 Activity Points Plus!


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Have a happy day!

3/21/12

Feeling good on a pretty Spring Day! Banana on my way to work...


Late breakfast: 2 wedges Laughing Cow cheese, organic celery, 2 Wasa crackers, grapefruit...


We bake thus beautiful bread at school each week...


And, I can now keep it under control. One slice of bread with 1 tsp of butter and 1T peanut butter will do...


PM Snack? Lunch?: (no pic) small organic apple, 1 T almond butter...

Dinner: 4 oz roasted pork rib meat, homegrown peas and carrots...


Snack: (no pic) 1 T butter

Today's log...


I took the day off from exercise...I was super-tired and respected my body's message.

A thought about boundaries. Being a 39 year old woman, finding clarity, and digging into my weight loss makes me finally appreciate the health in setting boundaries (at work today). "Nice" (fat?) girls always make everyone happy, putting others first. That's such crap. You can be caring, nice, and CLEAR all at the same time. I swear, you could spend a lifetime just putting other folks' fears, weaknesses, laziness, sadness, anger, and in-action back in their court!


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Have a happy day!

3/20/12

Breakfast: coffee with half and half, grapefruit, 2 organic eggs scrambled in 1 T pastured butter


Snack while cooking lunch: 2 T Parmesan cheese


Lunch: 1 Wasa cracker, cucumber slices, red pepper strips, salmon salad


Snack: small apple, 5 squares dark chocolate with hazelnuts


Dinner: 4 oz baked catfish w/ 1 tsp butter/lemon/blackening seasoning, broccoli


Snack: 1 cup fat-free Greek yogurt, 1 T honey, cinnamon


Today's log...


I rode the stationary bike for 20 minutes, earning 2 Activity Points Plus.


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Have a happy day!

3/19/12

Yogurt...


Mmmm...great coffee!


Banana...


Salmon salad with organic celery and red pepper strips, 2 Wasa crackers...


Grass fed sirloin steak, guacamole, collard greens with onion and bacon...


Coconut and coconut oil, 1 1/2 T...


Dark chocolate chunks...


Today's log...


I earned 4 Activity Points Plus at 9:15 in the evening....proud that I didn't just go to bed. This is a lifestyle change...need to think of myself as a dedicated athlete!


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Have a happy day!

3/18/12

Big bike ride today with my girls! They completed almost all of it before hubby had to be summoned to pick them up. I biked for 2 hours at a moderate pace! Came home, mowed the lawn. Lots of Activity Points Plus earned today.

Breakfast half-way through the ride: 1 cup plain fat free Greek yogurt with honey...(no pic)

AM Snack at home: 2 clementines (no pic)

Lunch: homegrown Romaine lettuce, organic tomatoes, homegrown carrots, 2 oz avocado, 2 oz shredded grass fed beef brisket, 2 T homemade Caesar dressing...


PM Snack: 1 T plus 1 tsp coconut and coconut oil...


Appetizer: 2 oz fresh mozzarella with basil and prosciutto...





Dinner(my nephew's 6th birthday): Caesar salad, gluten-free pizza topped with organic marinara, mushrooms, onions, artichoke hearts, feta, and Parmesan...


The birthday boy is holding the "I" shield my husband made him...my 3 kids have the dark hair! My niece is the littlest goose in front.


Today's log...I used 7 activity points to balance things out.





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Have a happy day!