I made it 85 days, longer than ever before, with a razor sharp determination to achieve my weightloss goals...this time. I journaled religiously every day of the week except for Saturdays ("cheat day"). Sunday through Friday I was all business.
This week, something happened. At first, I was confused when I started putting things in my mouth that hadn't been tempting in nearly three months. Intense cravings for carbs, chocolate, carbs, chocolate. A busy week that was out of balance, including a late night meeting at work on Tuesday. Farm and gardening, lifting heavy things at work, but no planned movement at home. No walks, sprints, or stationary bike. Slowly I slipped into old habits, at one point telling myself it was "okay" because I could start again on Sunday, after a full week of cheating.
But, I worked too hard. Pedaled too many miles. Lifted my kettlebell too many times. I've said "no" to foods that don't bring out my best or get me to where I want to be too many times. And so today, when I awoke, I knew that I couldn't just slip for two more days. Those days could turn into months, or another ten or eleven years. I was terrified. No, today, Friday, I fasted. Most of the day I drank coffee w/ half and half and sipped miso broth. Finally, at dinner, I needed a little protein with the miso broth to get me through the night so I had 1 1/2 grass fed beef hot dogs left over from my kids' dinner. (Weird dinner, eh?)
Today I took back control. Tomorrow, I will return to journaling and posting pics of what I eat. On December 31, 2011, I said this was the last fat year of my life. And, it is.
P.S. With time to reflect, this is what caused my rotten week:
1. PMS
2. I haven't been taking a vitamin, fish oil, a probiotic, or vitamin D.
3. I didn't have enough protein available to me at work, nor did I have vegetables prepped.
4. I didn't make exercise and self-care a priority in my week.
5. I didn't journal.
6. I didn't get adequate rest...reading on the iphone or ipad too late into the night.
No comments:
Post a Comment